Couples who argue: why is silence in the house scarier than screams


The perfect picture from the mayonnaise commercial, where everyone smiles and passes plates to each other in perfect harmony, causes a nervous tic in a normal person. In real life, if two people live under the same roof, they will inevitably bump foreheads, because one's idea of order is socks arranged by colors, while the other's is "where I took it off, there's a place." The conflict of interests is inherent in the very nature of the human community.
When deathly silence reigns in the house and no one ever raises their voice, this is often a sign not of great wisdom, but of complete indifference. People just stopped trying to reach each other, gave up and live like neighbors in a communal apartment. Emotions, even negative ones, are energy, it's an indicator that a partner cares about what's going on.
Steam release as a way to reduce pressure
Keeping everything to yourself is unhealthy, as any cardiologist will confirm. When you complain, even loudly and with the beating of a couple of cheap plates, you relieve internal tension. Accumulated resentments tend to rot from the inside out, turning into passive aggression, sarcasm, and the very looks that sour milk.
Arguing is a way to reboot the system. After a violent quarrel, devastation often sets in, followed by relief and understanding that the storm has passed, the roof has not blown off, and you can move on. The main thing is not to get personal in the heat of battle and not to hit the most painful places, which you, as a close person, know very well.
The search for Truth through collision
Oddly enough, the real boundaries of what is allowed are emerging in the dispute. While you're silent, your partner may genuinely think that it's okay to throw crumbs in bed. And only when you bark, it becomes clear: no, this is not normal, it infuriates. We get to know each other for real in stressful situations, not when we sit in a candlelit restaurant.
Quarrels help to review agreements that are outdated. Life is changing, and the old rules are no longer working. Loud talking is often the only way to make a person hear that "the way it used to be" won't work anymore.
Reconciliation is sweeter than a quarrel
There is some chemistry in this: after everything is said, the air is cleansed, as after a thunderstorm. Emotional upheaval often leads to a surge of passion. You don't see a boring roommate in front of you, but a real person with a character who can stand up for himself. It turns you on, you know.
Happy couples differ from unhappy ones not in that they don't quarrel, but in that they know how to make up. They don't carry the burden of yesterday's resentment into tomorrow. We shouted, let off steam, hugged, and forgot. Prova Cocoa casino con dolci ricompense.
Pulsante per tornare all'inizio